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Does Couples Counselling Work?

October 13, 2024

Does Couples Counselling Work? Unpacking the Myths, Real Advice and Why It’s Worth a Try

Relationships can be one of life’s most rewarding experiences. However, they can also feel like a never-ending obstacle course. One minute, you’re finishing each other’s sentences. The next, you’re in a standoff over whose turn it is to take out the trash.

So, when the bumps in the road feel more like giant potholes, you might start wondering: “Does couples counselling even work?” Spoiler alert: It can, but it’s not a magic fix. Let’s dive into how it works, when it works, and why it might be just what your relationship needs.

Couples Counselling: What Is It About?

Before we tackle the significant question of whether couples counselling works, let’s clear up what it actually is. Couples counselling is not about having a referee mediate arguments (though that might sound appealing). Creating a space for open dialogue, understanding, and healing is essential.

A therapist helps partners view their relationship in a new way. They guide them to explore behavior patterns, communication styles, and emotional triggers. The goal is to reconnect or, in some cases, untangle deep-rooted issues that have been getting in the way of the relationship.

At Couples to Cradles Counselling in Lethbridge, Alberta, we help couples reconnect. This is true whether you are in the honeymoon phase or have been together for decades.

How Does Couples Counselling Work?

So, how does it work? In a nutshell: it gives you the tools to communicate better, argue more productively, and rebuild trust.

But beyond that, couples counselling helps you understand each other on a deeper level. And no, it’s not just about talking out your feelings endlessly. Many approaches focus on actionable strategies, teaching you how to solve problems together without spiraling into the same old fights.

For example, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples understand their feelings. It also teaches them to share these feelings better. This method works especially well for those stuck in a cycle of misunderstandings.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps couples find negative thoughts that hurt their relationship. Somatic Therapy looks at how the body reacts to emotions. This can help couples manage stress or trauma in their relationship. These techniques encourage couples to shift their perspectives and work as a team rather than adversaries.

Does It Work for Everyone?

The million-dollar question: Does it work? The answer is that it can, but its success depends on a few key factors. Research shows that about 70% of couples experience improvements in their relationships after counselling.

But, it's important to remember that therapy isn't a quick fix. It requires commitment, effort, and, most importantly, both partners being on the same page. If one partner is already halfway out the door or unwilling to put in the work, the process becomes more challenging.

When Does Couples Counselling Work Best?

Couples counselling tends to be most effective when both partners are invested in making the relationship work. It's not just for relationships on the verge of collapse either. Even if your relationship isn't in crisis, couples counselling can help improve communication and prevent future issues from blowing up.

Let’s say you and your partner argue frequently about the same issues: money, parenting, or that annoying habit they just won't change. Counselling can help you see the bigger picture. Often, the surface arguments are just that—surface-level symptoms of deeper emotional needs not being met. Once those underlying issues are addressed, the surface conflicts become easier to manage, and the relationship starts to feel less combative.

When Might Couples Counselling Not Work?

There are situations where couples counselling might not be the right fit, at least not immediately. If one partner is resistant to change or refuses to engage, it can hinder progress. Similarly, if there’s a lack of honesty in the sessions or deeper issues like addiction or abuse that aren’t being addressed, therapy might not work as effectively.

But that doesn’t mean all hope is lost! Sometimes, individual therapy is a better first step to address personal issues that are affecting the relationship before moving into couples counselling. In cases of severe emotional or physical abuse, immediate safety and individual care should be the priority.

The Role of Timing in Couples Counselling

Timing plays a huge role in the success of couples therapy. Many couples wait until they're in a full-blown crisis before seeking help. While it’s never too late to try therapy, waiting too long can make the process harder. It’s a bit like car maintenance—waiting until the engine light comes on means the repair will be more expensive and time-consuming. But getting regular check-ups, like preventative therapy, can catch problems early and keep your relationship running smoothly.

If you’ve been having the same argument for years or feel like you’re just co-existing in the same space, it might be time to reach out. Don’t wait until you’re both feeling checked out.

But… Does It Actually Work? Some Real-Life Success Stories

You might still be wondering, “But does it actually work?” The short answer: Yes. We’ve seen couples at Couples to Cradles Counselling turn their relationships around.

Take Sarah and Mark (names changed for privacy). They came to us frustrated, arguing over finances constantly, and feeling like roommates. Over time, they learned new ways to communicate, started prioritizing quality time together, and rebuilt the trust that had eroded.

Therapy didn’t solve all their problems overnight, but it gave them the tools they needed to move forward, stronger together. Today, they're back to being that couple who laughs and enjoys each other's company.

Success stories like these remind us that couples therapy isn't just about "saving" relationships on the brink; it's about building healthier, happier partnerships.

How Couples to Cradles Counselling Can Help

If you are in Lethbridge, Alberta, or anywhere in Canada, think about couples counseling. Couples to Cradles Counselling can help you and your partner take the next step. Book your free consultation here to see how it can help your relationship.

We specialize in couples therapy, both in person and online. We offer different approaches that fit your unique relationship needs. Whether you’re dealing with communication breakdowns, rebuilding trust, or navigating new life transitions like parenthood, we’re here to help.

Don't wait until your relationship is at a breaking point—reach out now to see how we can help you reconnect and thrive together. Book your free 20-minute consultation today, and let’s start the conversation that could change everything.

Final Thoughts

So, does couples counselling work? Absolutely, but like anything worth having, it requires commitment, honesty, and a willingness to change.

The key takeaway? It's not about perfection; it’s about progress. And if both partners are on board, couples counselling can increase happiness, communication, and feelings of safety and security, turning even the rockiest relationships into strong, connected partnerships.

You don’t have to go through relationship struggles alone. If you are facing challenges in your relationship or feel stuck in a cycle, Couples to Cradles Counselling can help. We offer support in Lethbridge, Alberta, and provide online couples counselling across Canada.  Contact us today to start your journey toward a healthier, happier relationship.

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